just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I will pee on everything he values.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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