so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
