I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
