they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
