i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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