sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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