omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
