accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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