bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
