I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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