They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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