Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
