Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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