So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
