I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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