so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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