You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
