i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
