My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
