Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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