he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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