Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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