I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
