The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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