"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
