Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
