ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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