He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
