you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
