It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
