forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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