So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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