I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
