i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I need to align my fucking chakras
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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