I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
