I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
