Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
