Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
babies were throwing up all over the place
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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