youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
