Tell her she can't have a vagina
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
