ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
