So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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