wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
