I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
