i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
