That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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