Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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