it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your penis caused this!
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