It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
