I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
