i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
