This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
