I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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