Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
