were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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