Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize